My heart aches...

I don't know why I'm feeling like this...

Technically, I managed to live 3 years without seeing him... Didn't miss him at all when I'm gone... But now, realising he's never ever gonna be there when I come home breaks my heart to a million pieces...

Knowing that I'm never ever gonna hear him bark again, knowing that I'm never ever gonna see his happy face when I drive up the driveway, knowing that I'm never ever gonna see his joyful skip waiting for the gate to open, knowing that I'm never ever gonna see his sad eyes when you don't wanna give him more food, knowing that I'm never ever gonna smell his smelly ass ever again...

How happy he made me feel when he still recognizes me even I haven't been home for months and even up to a year.... he still remembers... how his eyes lit up in recognition when I call his name after being away for a long time...

Now I'm never ever gonna see that...

I didn't even said goodbye to him.... Rushing out of the house to go to the airport... He must have been watching at his corner in front of the gate... watching with his knowing eyes... how was I to know it would be the last time...

But what breaks my heart most is that, if he didn't have left... I might not even realise how much I actually love him... like they say, you'll never miss the water til it's gone...