Anticipating Gawai

Realised that I've been not updating as often as I had been, so... trying to squeeze out inspiration from my brain... haha. Life have been pretty so-so lately, nothing major has happened...

But something I can't deny... I terikut-ikut in the excitedness of Gawai... This is the most hype feeling for Gawai in the 3 years I left home... I also don't know why... Maybe it's because of Bryan, a fellow Sarawakian who also terhyper about Gawai... Haha... Before, talk pasal Gawai, people pun don't know what's it... Anywayyy, we have a plan... Kahkahkah... go out "ngirup" in the city...

Aiyaaaa, but so sedih ehh.... most of my friends are back home... Missing them sooooo muchhh... I wanna go home too!!! =(

I remember during primary school days, when my uncle and aunty were still staying in Bintagor, my family will drive all the way there to spend our Gawai holidays. I miss those times when my sister and I will bug the adults and my older cousins to bring us to the sungai at the back of the house. Those were the gila times!! Adakah patut, dah la so cold, still can mandi berjam-jam there... Haha...

And then on the way back home, my uncle will cut the sugarcane, and we will sit at the steps eating the sugarcane.... or come back to find jagung in the kitchen, and we'll sit and the steps eating jagung (kena halau out of the house in case we dirty the place)... haha! Then at night berkaraoke backstreet boys songs with my cousin... Oh!! Almost terlupa me, the barbeques we use to have at night... the ayam pangang, jagung, babi... whatever meat we have la... ushhh, rindu ehhh... and when we get too bored in the afternoon, my cousins will bring us for a ride on the motorbike...

Sighhh... missing those times...

Haha, oh... and guess what... I found a researcher on Iban agriculture in my uni... As some of you know, I'm currently writting an essay... It's about how globalisation affects the local cultures of the world, and I focus mine on Sarawak... Coz easy ba, tutup mata also can write.... but I went to talk to my tutor/lecturer on how to approach the essay, and he introduced me to his friend, Rob Cramb who has been researching Iban and agriculture for years... Had a talk with him... So nice able to talk2 about home... He's angmoh la... but he has been celebrating Gawai... So kek tiok, orang putih pun celebrate Gawai... I bet he speaks Iban as well!!! I've been meaning to ask him, but malu la wanna ask him...

Tagged

I wasn't actually being tagged.. But then my blog has been idle since Minki died, so... I thought I should write a bit of something here so that it isn't that depressing... sooo.. I got this from Wan Ming, and volunteered to do... hehhhh... Not that I've got ample time tho... But I no mood to start my essay or to finish reading my research books...

Be honest no matter what, then tag at least 10 friends.



01. Who was your last text from?
on my DiGi number, DiGi... on my Aussie number, I think it was Bryan...


02. Where was your default picture taken?
My blog one? In Ibiza, Spain...XD


03. Your relationship status?
Taken.. =D


04. Have you ever lost a close friend?
I won't say lost la... hehe....

05. What is your current mood?
lazy and uneasy...


06. How many siblings do you have?
2


07. Whats your brother(s)/ sister(s) name?
Matt & Lene


08. Where do you wish you were right now?
At home with my fam, bf and frens... Dad's bday's tomro...


09. Have a crazy side?
haha... yea, esp when I'm with crazy people.. =P


10. Ever had a near death experience?
YES!! OMG!!! =S scaryyy!!


11. Something you do a lot?
facebook


12. Angry at anyone?
nope, none at the moment


13. What's stopping you from going to the person you like?
nothing.. happily together...


14. When was the last time you cried?
last night


15. Is there anyone you could do anything for?
yeaps, my love ones


16. What are you thinking about when you are falling asleep?
i was thinking abt heaps of stuff last night, couldn't sleep.... =S


17. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Landlady


18. What is your favourite song?
no faves... maybe Kekasih Gelapku


19. What are you doing right now?
typing answers to this and chatting


20. Who do you trust right now?
my fam, bf n frens.


21. Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
H&M in Wesel, Germany... i think la.. i don't remember from which outlet i bought it from.


22. Have you kissed someone in the past week?
Nopez


23. Who is your friend that lives closest to you?
HQ, the next room


24. Describe your life in one word.
it's going... lols


25. Who are you thinking of right now?
my syg


26. What should you be doing right now?
Essay.


27. What are you listening to?
tercipta untukmy - ungu


28. Who was the last person who gave you a hug?
i dunno


29. Who was the last person who yelled at you?
i dunno... don recall


30. Do you act differently around the person you like?
hehe... ask him la.. i dunno...


31. What is your natural hair colour?
Brownish black


32. Who was the last person to make you laugh?
youtube


33. Who was the last person to make you sad?
me


34. What do your hear?
the song la


35. Is your hair curly or straight?
neither...


36. Has anyone called you "scrumptious" before?
Nopes


37. Do you have a best friend?
cloze frenz


38. Held hands with the opposite sex in the past 3 days?
Nopes


39. Do you use smiley faces on the computer?
yups


40. Have you ever change clothes in a vehicle?
hehehe.... yesss


41. Are you happy with life right now?
its alright


42. Are you currently jealous?
yessss!! of people who are back home... =P


43. What jewelry are you wearing right now?
rings XD


44. What were you doing on Friday night?
went to watch wolverine


45. Have you ever had your heart broken?
got la... who never


46. Have you ever broke someone's heart?
hehhh... got


47. Is there anybody you're really disappointed in right now?
Nopez


48. What was the last reason you went to doctor for?
errr... ohhhh.. i remember... coz i fainted


49. How late did you stay up last night and why?
4 plus... coz i cannot sleep


50. Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
hehe.... much more longer than a year... ho syg ho?

My heart aches...

I don't know why I'm feeling like this...

Technically, I managed to live 3 years without seeing him... Didn't miss him at all when I'm gone... But now, realising he's never ever gonna be there when I come home breaks my heart to a million pieces...

Knowing that I'm never ever gonna hear him bark again, knowing that I'm never ever gonna see his happy face when I drive up the driveway, knowing that I'm never ever gonna see his joyful skip waiting for the gate to open, knowing that I'm never ever gonna see his sad eyes when you don't wanna give him more food, knowing that I'm never ever gonna smell his smelly ass ever again...

How happy he made me feel when he still recognizes me even I haven't been home for months and even up to a year.... he still remembers... how his eyes lit up in recognition when I call his name after being away for a long time...

Now I'm never ever gonna see that...

I didn't even said goodbye to him.... Rushing out of the house to go to the airport... He must have been watching at his corner in front of the gate... watching with his knowing eyes... how was I to know it would be the last time...

But what breaks my heart most is that, if he didn't have left... I might not even realise how much I actually love him... like they say, you'll never miss the water til it's gone...

To the bestest dog in the world...

Know that you hold a special place in my heart though it may seem not like it... I love you dearly and it hurts me so knowing that I didn't do much... I'm sorry you had to go through all that suffering... and spend sleepness nights at the vet's... I'm sorry I didn't get to say goodbye to you... It's probably better this way since now you are able to run, jump and play like you use to... It's probably a better place anyway with you able to run as far as you can go, fast as you can run without a care in the world...

Minki, I wish I did all the things that I was suppose to do, but now's too late even to say I love you...

I can't imagine the extent of pain you must have gone through... No one can... And all those lonely nights in a foreign room... must have scare you like hell... I heard you lost your appetite... Dad said you lost so much weight in the week you were at the vet's. Mum told me how you put your paw in her hands as if telling her you wanna go home... I'm sure Dad's sorry he didn't bring you home earlier... They told me how you were so alert when they picked you up this morning, probably because you knew you were going home... You must have been happy to smell familiar smells again, and see familiar stuff. Mum told me how you enjoyed your last bath, and how you lifted your body to help her. You seemed to understand what she told you. We were going to look after you like how you look after us. You seemed to have recovered a bit having a little more life. But looks like we're wrong... You left when they went out to buy stuff for you... You must have been in so much pain... It must have a stuggle living every single day after the hit... I just hope you died a peaceful and comfortable death in the hammock Mum made for you...

All I can hope for now is that you're having a time of your life up there where you truly belong...

Mink, I love you...

This is my goodbye to you...

Things you take for granted...

How many times you feel like killing your dog when he barks his head off when a cat runs pass? And he keeps on going on and on and on even when you tell him it's just a bloody cat!!

How many times you feel like strangling him when you ask him to go inside and he keeps sniffing around outside peeing on every single tree ignoring you? And he looks at you laughing when you look so mad jumping yelling at the gate at him...

How many times you feel like hitting him when you found out he bit your favourite shoe... AGAIN!!! The worst and classic case is he ALWAYS bites mum's expensive shoes... and who gets the blame? you... and when you scold him he looks at you with sorry eyes promising he'll never do it ever and then few months down the road it happens again!

But how many times you wanna hug and kiss him for doing the little things that makes you happy...

When he finally realised that "sit" meant actually sitting down... when he begs he sits 'coz he thinks when he sits he'll get a treat... when he actually listens to you instead of dad... when he recognises you even tho you've been away for months... when he barks at weird people walking pass the gates... when he gets sad when Trixie's sick... when he trains with you during your sports day... how he looks like he's laughing his head off for beating you every single time... and even though you're huffing and puffing like you're gonna die like that, and he still can jump run around you...

How many times you wanna high 5 him and laugh for all the funny little things...

Like he trying to bite water from the hose...

Oh, another case... He's big... as in HUGE!! So naturally people are afraid of him, because of his size and loud booming bark... I remember this one time when we were renovating, the workers had to go to the back of the house, and that was where he was at. They didn't dare to go to the back.. so I made a deal with him. I knew he wanted to go out so much, so I'm like.. fine I let you out, but stop barking and don't you dare bite anyone. He look me in the eye and it seemed like he understood. So I told he guys like, don't worry he doesn't bite and opened his gate, and he zoomed out... I swear it was so funny seeing the grown men scared to death!! I bet he was laughing his little doggie heart out as well!


And then... your dad calls you telling that he got knocked by a hit and run... and he's in hospital... your dad tells you not to worry, only internal bleeding but no broken bones... next thing you know mum emails saying he has spinal injury and is paralysed at both his hind legs...

Then you remember all your broken promises to take him out for a walk... to play with him... how you complain when you have to feed him... to bath him... to bring him out...

but now he can't walk, he can't do his fave thing in the world, running... he can't jump about in his cute way... he can't sit to beg you for food anymore...


I am such a bad owner... and he's such a good dog... I know i keep comparing you to Bambi... but Mink... I love you so much... I'm so sorry... I wish I'm there with you right now... I hope the pain will go away soon... I'm so sorry you had to go through all that... and it's sooooo frustrating that there's nothing I can do!!!!




For the record, no I do not abuse my dogs k... I mean, sometimes you feel so frustrated with them, but you won't ever do things that hurt them... and yes, this post is about Minki, the dalmatian...

What are the chances?

Yesterday, a couple of us went to Carrie's place to visit-visit... Actually, she wanted Bryan to check out her house... So we had dinner and a couple of drinks... No idea why or how we suddenly listened to 90's music like to Backstreet Boys, Britney Spears, Westlife etc... Thenn... yes, we had a brilliant idea to make our own video clip... which won't be uploaded here!! 'coz it's embarrassing and besides, I don't have the video =P

We kinda danced along to the music of Backstreet Boys' "Everybody"... Kinda reminded me of my childhood, where my cousins and I sang to this very song. lol!

ANYWAYYYY...

We had to take a bus to the city from Carrie's then from the city another bus to my place. We had to wait for 20 minutes for our bus back to Indooroopilly (that's where I'm staying). The stop is near Irish Murphy's... yup, the same place I went during St Pat's. Then Bryan was like... heyy, let's have Kilkennys! So like, since there's time, so what the heck.. we went in, got Kilkennys...

and then...

GUESS WHAT SONG PLAYED?!!

yup... EVERYBODY by BACKSTREET BOYS!!

I mean, like what the heck? What are the chances?!! LOL!!!